aren’t you gonna hit on me?

25 02 2009

Some straight guys are concerned that if they are nude around gay men, they’ll be subject to flirting, or worse. While there are gay men out there who don’t behave appropriately in social settings, most of us do. And I think most gay naturists are even more sensitive and aware of their actions at naturist gatherings than usual.

Those who’ve had negative experiences with gay men might be inclined to say that gay naturists really should be segregated from everyone else. I disagree with this assertion, but I understand where it comes from. My own belief is that overt sexual conduct and inappropriate behavior ought to be punished by expulsion when necessary. That applies to ALL naturists, not just the gay ones.

The question is, why do straight men have this fear that they’ll be ogled or fondled if a gay guy sees them naked?

I’ve seen this attitude expressed by men who have no business assuming anyone would want to see them naked. Never mind that this isn’t the point of naturism; people don’t join naturist organizations for the eye candy; they join for the freedom and openness, and the camaraderie of spending time with others who share their interests. Anyone who goes to a nude beach or joins a naturist club and complains about all the fat, old, and ugly people is doing it wrong.

A good way to address this question might be to ask those straight guys, “Do you plan on joining a club to hook up with sexy babes? Are you going to go drool over the women and hit on them?” If they answer yes, they fall into the “doing it wrong” group, and would be unwelcome in a true naturist venue. If they answer no, ask them why they expect anything different from other members of the group. It really is that simple.

Case in point: my first naturist event was attended by roughly 30 people – mostly men, for reasons I’ll discuss in another post, and four or five women. There was even a gay couple there, and they were accepted as part of the group just as anyone else would be, and just as I was, though I don’t know that my orientation was clear. Only one of the men at the event was very fit and muscular. While I could appreciate that he took good care of himself, I had no sexual interest in him. He was simply another of the varoius naked bodies in attendance, which ran the gamut from short to tall and fat to thin. I was no more interested in that particular body than I was in any of the other men, or the women. I was there to meet other naturists and get to know them as people, rather than as visual objects.

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10 responses

25 02 2009
Rick

You’ve hit the nail on the head. It’s about behavior and attitude. At the winter swims I attend, men outnumber women by at least 3 to 1, usually more. There are all body types, and most are middle-age ro older although there are a few younger people. Among the crowd are several gay men but you’d never know unless you were told or you already knew.

We’re there to enjoy the freedom and comraderie and have some fun. Our rule is “If you wouldn’t do it at a church social, don’t do it here.” Actually, the behavior is probably better than you would find at a church social.

The gay naturists organizatinos in my area are adamant about their gatherings being non0sexual. And straight men are welcome to join.

25 02 2009
DN

A lot of people, some nudists included, have difficulty separating sex from nudity. We have been told all our lives that sex and nudity go hand in hand. At any nudist gathering, besides the “true” nudists and naturists, one finds exhibitionists, and voyeurs, and those who are there purely to hook up for sex.

26 02 2009
All Nudist

Agree with all of the above (rare for me!).

Straight men are leery of gay men because 1: There’re different and therefore a threat and 2: They fear for their image of their own sexauality.

Given a situation without women, most men will screw anything that holds still long enough. And we all know that, down deep.

.Men are men, gay or not. We’re a horny lot, nature made us that way for a reason, and a lot of men are afraid that, under the right circumstances, they might just do the naughty.

So they’re scared, because they’re manly men.

There’s a phrase I first heard in the Navy; ‘Im so horny I’d f**k a snake if somebody’d hold it’s head still!’!

That pretty much describes men. Some are just loathe to admit it.

I have no problem with gay gays, have friends and famiy full of them. Have a sorta nephew-in-law that’s been hot for me for years. I find it flattering, Angie finds it mildly annoying. Probably because she always worries about my sexual orientation. Ha! Keep her guessing!

As you’ve said, orientation isn’t the problem, behavior is. For everyone. -S

26 02 2009
h

I just don’t know what to expect from gays since I don’t know any. Its not so simple when gay and straight are together even with clothes let alone naked. I’ve been reading these nudey sites for a year. nude diarist or all nudist said remember when you were 17 and horny and gays at Mazo are like that even when they are 80. When I use public bathrooms sooner or later a gay guy is standing next to me checking me out. What would I do if I’m goin nude social and a gay guy pulls my rip cord even without thinking? You’re right they would get tossed out of the group but I don’t want an incident.

27 02 2009
All Nudist

h, I don’t know whether to get so frustrated with you as to ignore you and give up, or to try to help you get your head together.

You have this huge problem with gay guys, but you know what? They don’t care about YOU! If a guy hits on you and you just say, no thanks, that’sthe end of it. Just like if you hit on a woman and she says ‘Drop dead, loser’.

Can’t blame a guy for trying. If you’ve had a lot of of problems with guys hitting on you, there’s a fair chance that you’re giving out signals (unkown to you) that make them think, hmm, maybe…

Believe me, I’ve been there. Just don’t worry about it. They’re not gonna tie you down and gang rape you.

I’d suggest you just ignore this fixation of yours and go get naked with people, you’ll find that there really is no problem. – Steve

28 02 2009
local nudist

h,

I understand that you’re uncomfortable with gay men since you don’t know any – well, at least you don’t know any who are out of the closet.

I don’t think it’s fair to say that ALL gays who go to Mazo Beach are looking for a bit of action, but it’s disappointing that that’s the perception, because it’s obviously based on the fact that many of them do go there just for that reason.

I don’t know what part of the country you live in, but I’d suggest locating a naturist group and signing up. Odds are really slim that anything will happen. I understand your desire to avoid an incident, though, and I would suggest talking to the group’s leadership about your concerns. It’s likely that if there were any members who acted inappropriately, they’ve already been removed from the group.

28 02 2009
h

It’s a serious issue cuz sooner or later local is gonna do a piece on why young peep avoid nudism. I’m a skinny dork so I don’t know what my signals are. Good advice just go for it. Maybe I ought to check out a gay bar get hammered then get it over with. Yeah I got scrot.

2 03 2009
All Nudist

h, go for it. Just be sure to use a condom. If it works for you, at least you’ll know which direction to go. If it doesn’t, well, same thing.

But, don’t get too hammered. Stick with a light buzz so you know who you’re with and what’s going on. Don’t give yourself the excuste to blame it on alchohol.

I had my questions long ago, experimented, and found my path. Questions resolved, life is good.

2 03 2009
h

No way am I going gay but i’m not ante gay. Deep dark secret is guys get to wondering what if our chix were into it like gays are. Plus the stories from my cousins who were in the military. They said you do shit in the service you’d never do in real life.

2 03 2009
h

oh yeah since nobody knows my name we started laughing i called him faggit and we started wrestling. I got twitches but not on purpose.

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